You’re the unappreciated intern for a famous group of Superheroes. Your power? You can boil water… – A Prompt

Prompt: You’re the unappreciated intern for a famous group of Superheroes. Your power? You can boil water. All you do is make tea for them while they laugh and drink in their hideout. Little do they know that you’ve got dreams of becoming the Worst Villain ever. After all, a human is over 70% water

avengers fanfiction villain crossover satire prompt fiction

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“Hey, Jim, can I get another cup of tea?” says Steve Rogers across the room. 

Most times I think he’s the only one who remembers that I am in the room or my name. Of course, I go back to the pantry and do what I do best – boil water. Two minutes later he is sipping the tea at the perfect temperature.

It’s been a long day, the Avengers have been at the conference room for the whole day, it’s already 5 pm and I am not sure I can be their waiter all day long. I was brought in as the IT systems intern. At least, that’s what Mr. Stark said. I thought I was going to be coding for his new and improved suit, it is said to be lighter, faster and more stable and resilient against hack attacks.

Instead, I’ve been on the refreshment duties this past month since I’ve joined. But it is perfectly fine, I mean it is and this is not me trying to convince you at all.

This internship and the lack of serious work gives me lots of time to put my plans in action. I’ve been observant, I’ve been listening and most importantly I’ve been perfecting my art – yes of boiling water. 

You see, I’ve been testing the waters – pardon the pun – I’ve been trying to get the temperature right each time I’m called for a hot beverage. This time 70 degrees was the right one. It also depends on the crockery, the circumference of it, the distance from the pantry to the conference room for the tea or coffee to be the ideal drinking temperature as soon as it is served. I won’t bore you with the details.

If you are wondering if this superpower of boiling water is any good, think of it this way, I don’t have to worry about radiation every time I am heating my cup of coffee. I can make a sauna anywhere I go. Speaking of hot water bodies, did you hear of that hot water spring that got struck by lightning in the news? Everything in the vicinity was electrocuted – well not everything! I’m here, aren’t I?

The superheroes are all huddled together with Nick Fury on the conference video call overseeing his side of things. This meeting is just like regular non-superhero conferences, not much can be said for the glass ceiling on this part of the world either. They are being the cliché group of good guys bringing the next baddie down with their collective forces and stellar egos. Nick Fury is worried about his numbers – in this case, the death count.

It almost makes me want to appreciate those villains, to be honest; these guys here are unimaginative at strategy as the filmmakers at DC universe. I’ve been following Avenger’s progress with catching the bad guy and for the past two moves he has made, I’ve predicted it to the T and they were caught by surprise both the times.

If they would only consult me, they would know what could happen next. I even have a mind map ready back home of all the immediate possibilities.

You see this particular villain is cold as Ice and quite literally, he’s been known to freeze people over and shatter them. His plan? He’s been encroaching the state’s capital and making the legislator’s life miserable by freezing their key players. They say this villain has propaganda in mind. I say he is mental and just your regular attention seeker.

These Superheroes don’t need tea, coffee or this conference. They need water – hot and bubbling – to take this guy down. I almost consider throwing my hat in the ring and help them out. At one point even interject Mr. Stark, but his dismissive nod isn’t doing much for my confidence. 

From where I see it, if I continue with this internship I would get as far as being the full-time refreshment manager. However, crime is a better career path for an ignored and neglected talent like mine. Because I am so easy to miss, I could get to all kinds of chaos with this Mr.Ice. It’s not a bad idea, we collectively would control all the non-dispensable life-inducing liquid available to mankind. On that note, after all, a human is over 70% water. I’d spare you the gory details about third-degree burns and the death count.

 I wonder if Mr. Ice would like the list of team names I have in mind for us.

Frankly, the only thing getting me through these days will be finding him myself before these guys can go anywhere near him. With their obliviousness, and my creative ideas and coding skills, I think I could brew up some trouble that they’d have zero success at linking back to me.

And if you are wondering where he is going with this half-baked plot of his. Elementary my dear friend, this is a rough draft, I am not as naïve to disclose my manifesto. I still have a month to go and a lot can happen in a month especially if the Avengers keep having a weekly meeting like this one!

This prompt was so much fun to write! Feedback would be awesome?!

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